Getting Started With Sex Toys For Couples

It’s no secret. My husband and I have a healthy relationship but we’re still always on the lookout for new ways to take our love life to new heights. This might include new ideas for date nights, finding hobbies together, exploring unchartered foreplay territories and looking into new toys to elevate our sexual experiences.

What’s important to us is the connection with each other and we get a buzz from finding new ways to do so.

I’ve previously talked about how how foreplay has been a fun journey for my partner and I and one of our favourite parts of that has been experimenting with couples toys. Today, I want to delve more into the thrilling world of sex toys for couples, and hopefully give you all some tips on getting the most out of your time together.

The skinny (and thicc) on sex toys for couples

Pleasure-packed gadgets have come a long way so if you’re ready to boost your levels of intimacy with your partner, get ready for a tantalising read!

Firstly, I believe that the best sex toys for couples include anything that benefits both users, perhaps that you haven’t tried before and are things that you both feel comfortable exploring.

You want to be able to incorporate them seamlessly into your time together. It’s always important to ensure you are both on board with anything new that you try so make sure you talk ahead about your hopes, desires and importantly your boundaries. This is especially true if you’re looking to explore bondage and other fetish play. Wild Secrets has a great post on asking for kinky sex here.

Depending on how you and your partner feel, start slow and keep communicating as you explore new sex toys together.

My personal collection of couples toys

My husband and I have been together for a looooong time. Our sexual relationship has moved from awkward fumbling through to baby making and now we are in a delicious exploratory phase.

Once upon a time, poor hubby was a little terrified – and intimidated – by my treasure trove of sex goodies. The absolute best thing I ever did was sit down with him and build a pleasure kit, based on things that appealed to us both.

So what is a pleasure kit?

I’m glad you asked!

If variety is the spice of life, then pleasure sets are the ultimate feast for the sexual senses. A pleasure set is includes a variety of toys, such as massage oils, blindfolds, restraints, edible lubricants and toys, all exploring different types of pleasure. They offer the ability to experiment and discover new sensations as a couple.

Here are a few favourite items from our kit. Just a few… some things are sacred people!

Get creative with flavour

I love getting creative – in many ways – but one of my favourite go-to’s is my edible choc peppermint body paint – find the recipe here. Another I’ve tried lately which is simple to create is an edible body oil. For this I simply mix one part coconut oil with one part guava or sweet almond oil. Delicious and hey, not everyone is into chocolate!

If you don’t feel like whipping up your own batch of edible paint or oil, and want something a bit cleaner than food sex, you can try the Kama Sutra Set of 6 Flavoured Warming Body Oils. It’s always nice to warm up with a massage and these delicious oils literally heat you up with a gentle warming sensation.

Try a new position

The Adam and Eve Inflatable Position Pillow seems simple but oh my has it elevated our couples sex game. Put simply, this has helped us explore different angles and positions while we pleasure each other. It also hides away neatly when we don’t need it. One of my girlfriends has also told me it’s really helpful for her given she’s quite a bit shorter than her partner, so making everything, um, line up comfortably is often a challenge.

Invest in a quality couple’s ring

We’ve been using a vibrating couples ring for years now. Ours isn’t sold anymore however the feature I love most is the vibrating rabbit ears that make me orgasm EVERY TIME. My husband finds he can maintain an erection longer with the flexible ring. Something with similar features available now and with great reviews is The Vush Orb Vibrating Couples Ring. The silky silicone cock ring stretches to accommodate different girths and it has 10 different pleasure settings. Might be time for an upgrade for us!

Kate’s mythbusting corner: Sex toys aren’t for couples, they’re unhygienic!

While writing this article I spoke to few open minded – and not so open minded – friends. One exclaimed she’d never share toys with her partner. Isn’t that unhygienic? And since that seems to be a concern, here’s what I told her.

Proper toy hygiene and storage are important whether they are toys you use solo or sex toys you use as a couple. So here’s some tips I’ve learned through the years:

• The material really matters. Porous materials like TPE and TPR – often sold as ‘jelly’ or ‘real-feel’ – can harbour bacteria. So don’t share them outside of a monogamous relationship, use a condom with them, or opt for toys made from medical grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel instead.
• Clean your toys after every use! Mild soap and warm water can be used to wash your toys – just be mindful of wiping down those that aren’t waterproof with a clean cloth. It’s also a great idea to invest in a quality toy cleaner. One of my personal favourites is the Wild Secrets Foaming Toy Cleaner – it’s affordable, good quality, and gets the job done. But on those occasions I’ve run out I’ve used a mild antibacterial soap and let my toys air dry naturally.
• Store your toys properly! ALWAYS make sure your toys are clean and dry before storage. Any dirt or liquid can lead to bacteria – or even mold. I store mine in individual bags inside a storage container. I use satin pillowslips I didn’t like sleeping on – true story – but you can also check out options like the Wild Secrets Satin Toy Storage Bags. Big shoutout to Kmart for my Underbed Storage Tub on Wheels!

A word of caution

Before you all run out to buy all your new couples toys – or while you wait for them to be delivered, this word of warning is brought to you by a friend of mine. Let’s call her Jane.

Jane and her partner decided to invest in a sex swing. Mid kinky business one evening they heard a knock at the door. Now Jane was swinging free and loving life but after a few persistent knocks her partner decided to don his robe and see what the emergency was.

Turns out the neighbours’ dog had dug under the fence and was chasing their cat around the backyard. So her partner let said neighbour in to help catch the cheeky doggo and save the petrified puss. Much to Jane’s horror, her door was still partially open. In a panic she tried to disentangle herself and landed with a thud on the wooden floor.

The dog and cat chase continued into the house, busting through the door to the main bedroom and exposing poor old Jane on the floor under the swing. By the sound of it, there was more than one petrified puss that day!

The moral of the story? Swing safely! Never leave someone in a swing alone and make sure you use it properly – you should be able to get out safely at any time. And don’t answer the door mid swing!

Where to from here?

You may be reading this thinking, “Really? There’s more?” My dear friends, there’s always more. As they say, if someone isn’t already doing it, they’re inventing it or thinking about it.

For me, something I’ve always wanted to try is a couples vibrator. One I’ve had my eye on is the We-Vibe Chorus Adjustable Couples Vibrator which comes with an app and remote. What appeals to me most is that one part treats the clitoris, while the other vibrates inside the vagina. It’s small enough that he can still fit inside, so you can both enjoy the vibrations together!

Lelo is a long time favourite brand of mine and they also have a couples massager, the Lelo Tiani 2 Couples Massager. There’s something about the designer, luxe look of this that makes it even more appealing.

If you’ve tried one of these, please let me know what you thought! Have fun exploring together and write in if you’d like me to try anything to give you an honest review.

Kate x